So, was I ready? Uh, not quite. As soon as I got off work on Wednesday I headed straight home to finish packing...the packing that should've been done Monday. I had lost track of time and now I was scrambling for control. Hours passed as I stuffed clothes, bags, batteries, and charging cords into every crevice of my roller bag and hiking backpack. I wanted to make myself ready. I wanted to control my experience of World Youth Day, but that just wasn't going to happen.
I headed off to Portland with the windows down and radio going. The worry of the last few hours was still pulsing through my body. I mentally checked and rechecked my packing lists. I was on overload. "How am I gonna do this?" I thought. Looking at my rosary I knew the answer. I turned off the radio and I just prayed. I didn't know the mysteries so I just offered my worries for each decade. With each decade the worry was relieved. My body starting to calm down I could breathe again.
The last year had been such a rush with moving to Oregon, getting a new car, a new apartment, finding a mechanic, job stress, parents health complications, and having some of my dearest friends move very far away. I had constantly been asking and waiting and hoping for it all to just stop. All while asking and doubting whether I was really ready for any of this. While praying the rosary amidst the stress I realized I don't have to be ready. Jesus is gonna make it happen I just have to give up control. Something I've never been very good at.
Instead of rushing I prayed and let it go for the night. Whatever I had in my bags is what I was bringing to Poland. Whatever I needed I could buy. Whatever I didn't need I could leave. No amount of perfect perpetration was going to change or enhance the fact that Jesus called me to go to Poland. So I gave Him a chance to upstage all my plans for this pilgrimage and in a matter of hours He did.
As I continued to Portland I flipped through the radio stations and happened upon MaterDei Radio, Portland's Catholic station. They were broadcasting WYD coverage and my worry changed to excitement. I was going to Poland. I was going to World Youth Day. I am one of the pilgrims they're talking about. I am one of the 2 million from across the world. I am one of the 40,000 pilgrims from the USA. I am one of the twenty from the Archdiocese of Portland. Each of us was called. What an amazing realization.